Photography by Parker Peterson, In Partnership with Colors of Ohm After a few weeks of scheduling and re-scheduling, the stars finally aligned for Latham and I to get together in her NYC apartment to talk food, family, safe-space, and what exactly she means when she says to Own Your Glow. Latham grew up in Oakland, California and is now based in New York City. Officially, she’s an entrepreneur, author, and Super Soul 100– but I also love her self-described tagline as “creative matrix, soulful doula, yogini, and dreamer.” Here’s the highlights of our conversation; had during the prepping of what would become a flavorful Autumn-inspired dinner. RL: What are what are we making? LT: We’re going to have some collard green ribbons which I’m doing as a really thin chiffonade so that they can be buttery and really easy to eat and chew and just melt in your mouth. We’re also going to make some faro with black-eyed peas and with bell pepper, a little bit of squash and a few other vegetables like zucchini and things like that. So since my grandmother passed away– a lot of foods that she would make would include greens or black-eyed peas and things like that, so I wanted to make something that would nod to her and the ingredients she would use in most common cooking. There’s a big African American tradition around having black eyed peas around the New Year. It’s kind of for good luck that you have them. It brings you money and prosperity. It’s something that I just incorporate in a lot of cooking I do. I don’t want blessings to be bestowed at January 1, I want blessing throughout the year! RL: Tell me more about what things you’ve learned from the women in your life. LT: The women in my life taught me everything. My mother is really bold. She’s a character. She is somebody who you don’t mess with. So I didn’t actually have to defend myself and use any of these tools until I became an adult because she was always modeling that boldness and fighting for me. So I learned was that women could speak up and be badasses. She’s a single mom and there’s power in single motherhood. It wasn’t all about feeling sorry or that the family was broken. My mom modeled for me that we could have everything that we wanted even though we didn’t have our father in the home. With her guidance, I was able to embrace the rudiments of what would be entrepreneurship. I could really see what is possible. She also kept really great people around us and we had a really great community of people who loved us. I had a great babysitter who I also looked up to. She was actually the one who who got me into the veganism because she was five years older and I wanted to be like her. So I had people all around that were women, that were strong, that had their own identities. It was really growing up in an environment where there was possibility and that women were showing me that that strength was who we are. It was in our bones and that that was on the other side of growing up for me. But there was something else, and this was the importance of owning my own unique expression of power. That power wasn’t necessarily the way my mom is with her fierceness. I had to learn that my superpowers are different and that I have a unique ability to walk into a room and be like “Oh, someone was crying in here,” and be able to know. I am able to support people in moments of transition or at the threshold of change. I have a strength that’s a gift – vulnerability. In being softer. RL: I get the sense that that softness was something that was also inspired by your grandmother. LT: Yes my grandmother is softer. She was a Sagittarius, and I have Sagittarius moon. So we’re very similar in that way. Her modeling for me was more gentle. Being the “catch more flies with honey than vinegar” type of person. She was really like that. And the way she passed was truly beautiful – with everyone around and being like doulas ushering her into the afterlife. It was the same way that I would support a woman in delivering a baby. I felt blessed to see that in that way with her. I don’t think I could have internalized her death well if I hadn’t been able to experience it that way. If I woke up and I just found out that she’d passed or something, I think it would have taken me longer to adjust. But because of the way it happened, so completely, I felt resolved. RL: It’s so important to pause and process. And also enjoy these moments. But that also reminds me a little bit of something you mention in Own Your Glow about not getting stuck in your trauma. And I’m also connecting that now to what’s been happening recently online with the “Me Too” campaign. What are your thoughts on that? LT: Well first of all I think it’s incredible that everything that’s been in spiritual obscurity is coming into the light. And so I’m grateful for this time. It’s incredible that we have things like “Me Too” happening but why don’t we say something and also why don’t we do something? Like why don’t we create spaces where women can feel safety? Like how come that’s not a priority? What I love is that women do feel the safety in numbers speak out. It’s important for us to be able to speak especially in times that in right now where everywhere people are being silenced, especially women. I’m hoping that men step up. And also talk about trauma that they have and speak to those things that they may have experienced as well. So it’s not just a women’s issue but a human’s issue. And I also that we look at it as an opportunity to figure out how we move forward. And how do we stop protecting men in power? And allowing them to do these things that perpetuate evil in our society. And why do we keep rewarding them? Like what happening in our government. How do we collectively decide: “no more of this. Stop. Everybody let’s move this direction”? We have to figure out how to do that. How to pivot in that way so it’s healthy. It’s sustainable. And that everyone involved is protected. All these people who don’t feel safe, that raised their hand and said “Me Too,” that they can actually walk through a door and feel safety. We need to create these spaces. I love the campaign; I want it to be real life. I want us to be able to live like this. RL: What does it mean in the wellness space to create “safe space”? It’s a term thrown around a lot, but I’m not seeing many spaces that really live up to full capacity of what it suggests. LT: It’s so important to go into wellness spaces, or conferences, or gatherings or whatever it is and see a diversity of leadership. You may go to an event and you’ll see all of these amazing people and you’re like “Wow, look at this incredible group of individuals from all ages and sexes . . .” but not necessarily backgrounds. It’s so important. Right now, the voices of women and women of color in the wellness space are marginalized. And their voices are . . . not silenced, but not celebrated. I think with people of color too there’s a barrier to come into yoga or meditation if you feel like you have to dress a certain way, that you have to have this type of legging which costs this much. This weight. This eye color, hair color, body type. That’s what we see perpetuated in wellness media so people aren’t going to think it’s a space for them. There’s a problem with trying to act like everything is one way when really there are so many unacknowledged people who are lending their voices and work. And not just for people of color but also making sure that we bring voices from the LGBTQ community. I talk to so many people who are like, “I don’t want to come into this space. There’s so much hetero-normative languaging” or even just the framing. And so people might not feel safe in a space where they have to fight for their existence. If you’re going to be about consciousness, if you’re going to be about inclusivity and you’re going to be about lifting people then you have to lift and want to liberate all people. I think that that’s what we have to work towards – making sure that you can go into a studio and also see “oh, my trans sister that I take yoga with” or like this black brother who teaches class. Also! A lot of these tips and tools and traditions are coming from ancestral traditions, globally, that are being repackaged, spun, and sold to people without the context of where they came from. So I think we have to do better at that. Making sure that we lift all types of voices in leadership. RL: I think it’s so important there are spaces that are also spaces designed specifically for these communities, too. There’s a certain freedom, at least for me, in the way I move about in a space I feel at home in. LT: I think there is a difference between how marginalized communities move because people who don’t always feel safe are always questioning whether or not they belong some place. People who feel safe are always transgressing people’s boundaries. It’s like when you go on the subway and somebody’s man-spreading. And it’s like, I would never think to take up that much space. Your consciousness tells you that it’s OK for you to take up that much space? Whereas a woman or someone else is making themselves smaller. Not to say that we should be making ourselves smaller! But how do we frame around taking up more space intentionally and consciously because, in marginalized communities, we’ve never been able to. I want people to take up more space. I want women to take up more space. I want people of all backgrounds who have been walking with their wings clipped to take up more space. And it’s important too, because the work that these people bring to the world is really profound. And it will only come to fruition if we’re allowed to take up that space. RL: You talk about the “feminine advantage” in your book. Can you tell me what you mean by that? LT: It’s all about knowing that there is power in process. In slowing down. In cultivation. And that everybody has this. But particularly women – we have a way of cultivating something, of growing something from seed. When I talk about the whom, I mean it in terms of a metaphor. The space that we hold. I really want us to reframe, rethink, and revisit these things in a way that allows us to celebrate them. It’s about reclaiming femininity and using your unique power and your unique story to transform a narrative. There’s so many people who now, because of social media thank God, we see more of. And I feel that we should celebrate. I think that we should also look to marginalized people for answers because there’s a different level of awareness about what’s really going on. When you’re somebody who’s been through so much, you have a completely different lens on what’s possible and also what needs to be protected. We need to really protect spaces for women like this to continue to thrive. RL: But I understand that this is something universal, that men not only have access to this feminine advantage, but need it! LT: Yeah, it’s necessary. Again with “Me too,” women are saying their piece! But it’s also like, OK when are the men also going to rise up? When are the men going to speak out against the injustice? But half the time, these men who can say something are also in the wrong because they’ve upheld the culture. And they participate in the culture of mistreating women. If we really look at what’s possible for us in the future and the world we want to create for the future, and the next generations to come, we need to examine our values and what we want them to take on and how we want them to behave. What we have chosen for leadership in office right now is a reflection of where we are in society. We have to own everything. Instead of saying this is not me, that’s not my problem . . . no no no no, this is all of our problem! So now, instead of saying “I didn’t make the mess,” let’s just all clean up the mess. If I do this in this kitchen and then I don’t clean up, and the next person comes and says, “well I didn’t do it,” and then the next person says I didn’t do that either . . . nothing’s going to get cleaned. We have to take initiative. And stop pointing fingers and figure out how are we going to be proactive in making change. RL: And that sort of ownership sounds like it’s synonymous with an idea like “owning your glow.” LT: That’s what it is. Taking that responsibility. Own it! Embrace who you are to your fullest so that you can become the brightest light and that everything you touch will be graced. If you hold back in any way on who you truly are, if you don’t really let the world see you, or give the gifts that you have to give, then people suffer. The world really suffers when you’re not yourself, when I’m not myself. Because there’s special medicine that we were sent with which is ignited when you and I activate who we are. That’s balm that heals the world. We’re supposed to do that. That’s what we’re here to do. Just do it. So that’s done, and I’ll make you all dessert.
